Such Frustration

OK, so everything feels so complicated..promises aren't being kept and I cant get my priorities straight.. Oh I hate this. I was so focused on good things in the beginning of this year. My goals n aspirations were so beautiful but i forget about them so easily. I feel horrible for doing so but I won’t stop myself. I have responsibilities, cuz no matter how much i don't like it, I have more on my shoulders...I'm older. I'm so confused by everything and everyone. I feel like i trust too much.. I feel like a pathetic liar. i never lied before..I lie more and more these days...especially to myself. Why is this happening? Is it because the promises people make to me are not kept? You can look at me and think I don’t have a care in the world...but really, every second, there’s so many things running through my head. You might say “Oh she’s a kid. What does she have to worry about?" when I'm actually always worrying about things people my age shouldn't be worried about. People are so quick to judge. Not hesitant at all. But I ask you to walk a mile in my shoes before you do so...

That’s what I remember before i judge someone. I remember that I am no one to judge..and i am no one to be judged...for the way I come out, for my appearance or anything..
To some people, it seems as if i know what I’m doing..at times i feel that way, but most of the time I don’t. I feel like a failure..just like my sister always tells me. I could only ever win battles, never wars. I focus on the small things in life...n I screw myself over. n i continue to do so.
I wish I were able to focus more..and that’s what I’m gonna do. I’m gonna set my priorities straight. cuz in the end there wont be any1 to blame but me for where I ended up. I have to do what’s best for me. I have to be more focused. I have to get to the pick of my goals…I Have To..